Wow.. blogging after a long long time.. and was quite taken aback with the new look of blogger..
anyways.. lots to write .. tonnes to share.. in this period I saw some of the worst and some of the best days of my life.. I don't know where to start.. a pathetic team at office .. my mother suddenly taking ill at midnight or the awesome Australia trip which followed..
I guess I will keep the posts to the Australia trip... that will keep everyone interested..
P.S: I feel great coming to blogger.. :) Thanks Blogger.. I thought I would need psychiatric help without you.. ;) ok.. thats getting senti .. lemme get back to my post.. and the ones which will follow..
Australia Trip - 3rd Aug to 16th Aug
Gold Coast, Southport, Queensland, Australia
Holiday Inn - A room on 7th Floor
Winter in Australia - 4 deg C to 14 deg C with strong winds
There is so much to write.. I guess I will put each day one at a time..
In short.. this trip taught me a lot .. I grew and learned a lot as a person .. this was my first trip alone, abroad, to a place so far. Yea! I was a boarding school student in 5th n 6th std .. didn't understand much and never was away from home after that.
I don't want your expectations to be soaring, this trip had its own adventures but don't expect adventures which you may find in a Batman comic or a Tin-Tin comic!
So watch out for the forthcoming posts and some great pics to follow!
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
After so many days.. I felt that numbness again.. the numbness of your brain.. its that feeling when you don't want to feel anything..
Today a new realization, about me, dawned upon me.. in short I had one of those moments of 'self-realization', not the spiritual kinds, just when you come face to face to your own self..
Well, after that.. you go into that do-not touch me mode i.e. the numbness feeling.. and then things start connecting, and you realize how deep rooted your feelings were.. and you knew your very desire since the beginning, as all your dreams were those desires.. and how ironically, its someone else's words which make you realize that..
Then the worst part.. you start judging those desires, and I wonder why do we have to classify everything into 'Right' or 'Wrong'?! Why can't there be a classification like.. "Nothing"!! Or "Just another thing" or "Anything"!!!
Then the next bad part follows, the guilt trips, yeah I know they are terrible too.. but well.. you feel guilty of not fulfilling your desires and betraying them, and then you feel guilty of being weak and giving in to your desire of fulfilling your desires.. ah.. I know its complicated I hate it too.. so lets leave it at that..
And then you write a blog to pour out your confusion, which results in confusing others.. nevertheless, you feel light.. you smile and carry on with your day! Feeling numb again?!
Today a new realization, about me, dawned upon me.. in short I had one of those moments of 'self-realization', not the spiritual kinds, just when you come face to face to your own self..
Well, after that.. you go into that do-not touch me mode i.e. the numbness feeling.. and then things start connecting, and you realize how deep rooted your feelings were.. and you knew your very desire since the beginning, as all your dreams were those desires.. and how ironically, its someone else's words which make you realize that..
Then the worst part.. you start judging those desires, and I wonder why do we have to classify everything into 'Right' or 'Wrong'?! Why can't there be a classification like.. "Nothing"!! Or "Just another thing" or "Anything"!!!
Then the next bad part follows, the guilt trips, yeah I know they are terrible too.. but well.. you feel guilty of not fulfilling your desires and betraying them, and then you feel guilty of being weak and giving in to your desire of fulfilling your desires.. ah.. I know its complicated I hate it too.. so lets leave it at that..
And then you write a blog to pour out your confusion, which results in confusing others.. nevertheless, you feel light.. you smile and carry on with your day! Feeling numb again?!
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Happy Mother's Day
One of my mother's favourite song.. it's a beautiful song! Enjoy it mom! :)
One of my mother's favourite song.. it's a beautiful song! Enjoy it mom! :)
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Thursday, May 01, 2008
The town was devoid of green vegetation, a hot fierce breeze blew through it. The jeep stopped in front of the old house, which was just falling short of being called a ruin. He got down from the jeep, shielded his eyes against the hot afternoon sun, and after looking at the house, stared back at his friend, with anger in his eyes. His friend just shrugged and waved at the driver to start the jeep.
He stood on the road, in front of the gates, with his hands still shielding his eyes, he watched the house. Its garden was dry, a few pots were lined along the couple of the stairs which led to the door. The walls were bare and seemed that never were they coated with paint. The windows had their panes missing and the wooden frames had decayed long back, they appeared to be just holes in the old walls.
He shook his head in vain, and opened the gates, he slowly walked towards the door. The door, was locked, he peeped in through the broken window, the house had only one huge hall, and there weren't any other rooms in it. He sat at the stairs, and waited.
He didn't realize how long he waited, and when did he start fondling with the pot kept next to the stairs. When suddenly, his hand touched something funny, he picked it up, and when he looked at it, it was a black doll. He stared at it, the doll was barely 4 inches tall, and it appeared that not a skilled person had stitched the doll. It wasn't aesthetically pleasing either, as the doll had its face and limbs painted in white. He looked at the pot, and realized that the doll was tied to the plant with a black thread. The plant was dry and the mud in the pot seemed untouched for years. He threw the doll back in the pot, when something poked his finger. A drop of blood soon appeared at the tip of his finger, he squinted at the pot, and saw that a tiny nail stuck out from the place where the doll was earlier tied. He rolled his eyes, and kicked the pot in anger.
He sat waiting again, the afternoon didn't seem to end, the sun was still high up in the sky. When he looked down, his eyes fell on the old woman at the gate, she stood there staring at him. Her hair were white, but dirty, her white gown, was tattered and she looked filthy. He couldn't clearly look at her face, as her hair fell upon her face. There was a huge sack which she dragged behind her. He got up as she approached him. He was still observing the old lady as she pulled her sack behind her, while climbing the stairs.
He suddenly heard hurried footsteps behind him, he turned to look, finally they had arrived. The girl ran to him, while the old lady, her grandmother, who accompanied the girl, walked as fast as she could with the help of her walking stick. The girl held his hand, when she felt the wet blood, she looked at his finger and then looked in his eyes puzzled. Her grandmother reached to her as she stood there staring at his blood stained hands.
The creaking of the old doors, caught their attention. The old lady in white had entered the hall and was seated on the floor untying her sack. The girl stared alarmingly, and quickly looked at her grandmother with concern. Her grandmother returned her concerned look and looked down at the boy's hands, as blood slowly trickled down his fingers. He stood there looking at his hands, he was puzzled, thinking how can a mere pricking of the nail make his hand bleed so much.
The girl squeezed his hands, he lifted his eyes to look at her, she had spotted the pot and the voodoo doll, she turned to look at him. She had turned white with fear, she passed a questioning look at him, and he nodded in affirmation. She started breathing heavily, she was panicking, she pulled her grandmother's arm and beckoned her towards the door. They both quickly turned towards the door, and froze almost immediately. They stared with their mouth agape at the old lady inside the hall.
The old lady and extracted the corpse of a girl from her sack. The girl must have been some 13 or 14 years old. Her waist length hair fell over her shoulders, her mouth was slightly open and her eyes were partially shut, where only the whites of her eyeballs were visible. Her frozen blood, made her appear blue. The old lady looked at the three of them, her eyes were bloody red and her pupils were white. The three of them stood there looking at Death staring back at them.
He stood on the road, in front of the gates, with his hands still shielding his eyes, he watched the house. Its garden was dry, a few pots were lined along the couple of the stairs which led to the door. The walls were bare and seemed that never were they coated with paint. The windows had their panes missing and the wooden frames had decayed long back, they appeared to be just holes in the old walls.
He shook his head in vain, and opened the gates, he slowly walked towards the door. The door, was locked, he peeped in through the broken window, the house had only one huge hall, and there weren't any other rooms in it. He sat at the stairs, and waited.
He didn't realize how long he waited, and when did he start fondling with the pot kept next to the stairs. When suddenly, his hand touched something funny, he picked it up, and when he looked at it, it was a black doll. He stared at it, the doll was barely 4 inches tall, and it appeared that not a skilled person had stitched the doll. It wasn't aesthetically pleasing either, as the doll had its face and limbs painted in white. He looked at the pot, and realized that the doll was tied to the plant with a black thread. The plant was dry and the mud in the pot seemed untouched for years. He threw the doll back in the pot, when something poked his finger. A drop of blood soon appeared at the tip of his finger, he squinted at the pot, and saw that a tiny nail stuck out from the place where the doll was earlier tied. He rolled his eyes, and kicked the pot in anger.
He sat waiting again, the afternoon didn't seem to end, the sun was still high up in the sky. When he looked down, his eyes fell on the old woman at the gate, she stood there staring at him. Her hair were white, but dirty, her white gown, was tattered and she looked filthy. He couldn't clearly look at her face, as her hair fell upon her face. There was a huge sack which she dragged behind her. He got up as she approached him. He was still observing the old lady as she pulled her sack behind her, while climbing the stairs.
He suddenly heard hurried footsteps behind him, he turned to look, finally they had arrived. The girl ran to him, while the old lady, her grandmother, who accompanied the girl, walked as fast as she could with the help of her walking stick. The girl held his hand, when she felt the wet blood, she looked at his finger and then looked in his eyes puzzled. Her grandmother reached to her as she stood there staring at his blood stained hands.
The creaking of the old doors, caught their attention. The old lady in white had entered the hall and was seated on the floor untying her sack. The girl stared alarmingly, and quickly looked at her grandmother with concern. Her grandmother returned her concerned look and looked down at the boy's hands, as blood slowly trickled down his fingers. He stood there looking at his hands, he was puzzled, thinking how can a mere pricking of the nail make his hand bleed so much.
The girl squeezed his hands, he lifted his eyes to look at her, she had spotted the pot and the voodoo doll, she turned to look at him. She had turned white with fear, she passed a questioning look at him, and he nodded in affirmation. She started breathing heavily, she was panicking, she pulled her grandmother's arm and beckoned her towards the door. They both quickly turned towards the door, and froze almost immediately. They stared with their mouth agape at the old lady inside the hall.
The old lady and extracted the corpse of a girl from her sack. The girl must have been some 13 or 14 years old. Her waist length hair fell over her shoulders, her mouth was slightly open and her eyes were partially shut, where only the whites of her eyeballs were visible. Her frozen blood, made her appear blue. The old lady looked at the three of them, her eyes were bloody red and her pupils were white. The three of them stood there looking at Death staring back at them.