I wonder about every comment, they say its constructive, constructive criticism. They pride themselves in crushing creativity, in crushing individuality. Some don't criticize, they just pass an order, a rule you need to follow without questioning. And I wonder is it my life or theirs? Why do I keep killing myself to be true on someone else's idea of an idol person. Why am I being watched over by everyone? Why all those million sets of eyes lock up on me? My eyes turn misty, I look up at the sky, all in vain, what would he know, who himself created this divide, sitting up there smirking at our plight!

I stand alone as my lungs fill with the dry summer air. A heavy heart and cold sigh have just possessed me. I look towards the moon amidst the scant patches of clouds. It just doesn't look beautiful. I stare straight ahead blankly, at the half finished concrete structure. The kids scream as they play and vehicles honk and dodge them. The reality has slapped me right across my face many times. Every single time I protest, with a faint hope in my heart, wishing it should not be this way, as its not right. My head feels numb again, yes I always get this feeling when I am low or furious. A voice inside me says, its been so many years, why don't you just give up and face the reality and accept life the way it is, it only says this so that it can ease my pain and I should not suffer again. Its hard to give up on that hope, the tiny rebel in me survives only on that, wishing, yes wishing against wish, that the life of my dreams does exist.