Sunday, April 05, 2009

The hot summers remind me of my school days. The long summer vacations were fun, mischief and carelessness. Behind all these, there always lay a small fear, of not completing the summer vacation homework. The homework, we would tend to forget and feverishly try completing a couple of days before the school was to begin.

I get that little fear again and I hate it. I don't have any homeworks to complete, the summer vacations are long gone. Still I get that feeling at times and I totally hate it. Now that I think of it, it was so cruel of the teachers to give us summer vacation homework, it would somehow, somewhere prevent us from having 100% fun. The fun we so very well deserved. It saddens me to see, we are so bound by little things in life, which prevent us living our own lives.

A small trip from Norwalk to New York, in a train, Merrit7 to Grand Central. A plane from Mumbai to Brisbane via Singapore. A walk from nowhere to somewhere. I so want to walk away, just walk into the unknown. Walk to a place where no one is waiting for me, away from a place where no one bids good byes, expecting a safe return. I just wished I could walk one day into the morning mist and disappear. I so wish.

I am not running away, if you think so, I care not. I just want to live my life once only for me without that little fear holding back my heart's desires. I want to be free once, just once.

6 comments:

MutantX said...

Why is there a fear?? because there are attachments in life (with your loved once).... You say you want to be free... isn't it exactly what you are denying....that you want to run away.

MK said...

I can totally relate to what you feel.. We become such slaves to our past memories and senses that it becomes difficult to break free.. letting free of what has happened and carrying on.. After reading your blog, I felt as if someone had poured out my heart..

MK said...

and yes.. even I get these impulses to breaking free.. and then I think and realize that there aren't any bondages.. and yet why do I crave for freedom..

Amudha said...

Loved this one..

Maverick said...

:) .. i always think if i wanted to be a kid again.. or if i want to be older fast.. more money settled.. i thought i thought and i dont want to be either.. i do not remember if I had the fear in the past.. or if i will have it afterwords.. i know i have the fear now, of what i do not know.. but deep down i do not want this to change.. maybe..

Neha said...

Absolutely! I feel the exact same way. Beautiful words Shweta :)